Hurt
by NIXONSPARKLE
Summary: You know you love me xoxo...GOSSIP GIRL! this is my first xoxo fic/songfic hope you like it...lol


_Set After Rufus called Lily when he wasn't supposed to! _

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**_Hiya Girls, this is my first XOXO...GOSSIP GRIL Fic and hopefully NOT my last so enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! hope it isn't that bad! lol (Song By Christina Aguilera...Hurt) _**

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_**S**__**eems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today  
Ooh, ooh**_

**Lily**: Rufus, its Lily. Um, your very-persistent son insisted that I join you for dinner. I want to remind you that my kids do not know that we are friendly and I'd like to keep it that way. That said, I look forward to seeing you.

**Lily**: I am sorry. I did not know that you were  
**  
Allison**: Back? Well I am. And why would you know?  
**  
Lily**: Well Dan never mentioned it when he invited me. Lily looked over at _Rufus,_ I called.  
**  
Rufus**: I didn't hear the phone.

_**I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I wanna call you  
But I know you won't be there**_

_Once they all got settled down at the table they started chatting whilst helping themselves to the feast on the table, when Serena answered her cellphone to Blair and said she had to leave. The rest of the table just carried on severing when Dan started._

**Dan**: You were talking about your ranch.  
**  
Jenny**: Did you have any horses?  
**  
Lily**: Yes, I had a few. Um, I had my own. Rosewood.  
**  
Jenny**: My dad has a song called Rosewood.  
**  
**

**Rufus**: Oh, but no, not that Rosewood.  
**  
Dan**: I completely forgot about that song!  
**  
Jenny**: Yeah, it's about my mom, you know. 'Cause she had this perfume that she always wore. It was rose and.  
**  
Dan**: Sandalwood.  
**  
Jenny**: Sandalwood, It was like her very own personal scent.

**Allison**: I'm a fool.  
**  
Rufus**: You're not a fool.  
**  
Dan**: Raise your hand if you're over 30 and acting really weird right now.

_**I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I wanna call you  
But I know you won't be there**_

_Allison stood up saying she need some air and stormed off, as Serena had already left, Jenny, Dan and Eric made themselves scares which only left Lily and Rufus__._

**Lily**: Well that not what it felt like when you kissed me last week.

**Rufus**: Lily, these past few weeks have been...  
**  
Lily**: Have been what? You can't even say it, can you?  
**  
Rufus**: I can. But I shouldn't

As lily was about to reply Allison walked back in catching them both huddled up in the corner like a secret couple, holding back a while she heard the speaking about the kiss last week then burst into the dining room.

**Allison**: I think we're splitting hairs here, Rufus. An emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one.

_**Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you  
for everything I just couldn't do  
and I've hurt myself by hurting you**_

**Lily**: Oh please. Nobody's buying that. Emotional affairs are necessary to keep a marriage alive.

**Allison**: And how many times have you been divorced?

**Rufus**: Allison, this is not about Lily. This is about you and me.

**Allison**: Exactly. And if we're going to have any chance then she can't be here.

**Lily**: What, for Thanksgiving? Or ever? Oh you can't be serious.

**Allison**: I am.

_Lily looked at Rufus and Rufus looked at lily._

**Allison**: Well what's it to be Rufus?

_**Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss  
And it's so hard to say goodbye  
When it comes to this, oooh  
Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?**_

**Rufus**: Lil look please just wait a second...I need to explain.

_Lily looked back at Rufus with a tear in her eye not realising how much it really hurt until he said "Well your my Wife" Rufus made his choice and Lily left._

_Two days later whilst lily was at the Ball Rufus called._

_**There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes  
And see you looking back**_

**Lily**: We're not supposed to talk, remember?  
**  
**

_**Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself, ohh  
**_

**Rufus**: I had to. Your mother came to see me and she mentioned something about why you left me all those years ago.  
**  
Lily**: Oh. Yes well. She made me an offer I couldn't refuse. And I wasn't strong enough then.  
**  
Rufus**: Why didn't you tell me?  
**  
Lily**: Oh come on, you never would have understood.  
**  
Rufus**: But if I had known you hadn't actually left me for him, I mean maybe—  
**  
Lily**: Listen, don't...Don't say it. Don't even think it.

_**If I had just one more day  
I would tell you how much that I've missed you  
Since you've been away  
Ooh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line  
To try and turn back time**_

_There was a brief silence between them...then it hit them both, they are still in LOVE and NEVER fell out of LOVE..._

**I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you**

**Rufus**: I can't help myself. I never should have let you let me go.

**This is my First XOXO...GOSSIP GIRL Fic so hopefully you'll approve and it won't be my last!!** lol (Song By Christina Aguilera...Hurt)

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